Diary of a Munchkin

Moved

2009-08-12T22:54:00.002+07:00

I have moved to another location. From now on I will be blogging at www.lolamay.blogg.se

Midsummer's Eve

2009-06-20T21:58:00.002+07:00

It took blood, sweat, and tears to create this monument of summer!
A mixture of Swedish summer foods.

Big Heart

2009-06-20T15:59:00.002+07:00

Jai Dee, Dee Jai
Her name means "big heart" because of the white heart on her forehead, but she should be called Dee jai because she is always happy and smiling.

My little baby is in the hospital, probably having the surgery right now.. She's getting sterilized. My Swedish dog had the same surgery a couple of months ago because she had cancer, I don't want that to happen again so this surgery might be a good thing. There is a 5% chance that she can't handle the operation, but we are hoping for the best.

What do you think about sterilizing dogs, is it worth it?

Confidence

2009-06-13T12:47:00.005+07:00

My confidence has been on a very low level for a long time, still is, but sometimes I feel ok. I love this photo, I look strong and confident. Why can't I feel inside what shows on the outside. Why do I always have to look down on myself like I'm not good enough. I have probably come further than a lot of other people, and I should appreciate that, but I always compare myself to people who are better. I settle in being second instead of number 1. In school I never have the best grade, I am always one step behind the best. I need to change this pattern, why should I stop myself in reaching my full potential?!

Sleeping Beauty

2009-06-13T12:02:00.001+07:00

If I gave him a kiss would he wake up from his thousand years sleep? Probably not, but it is always worth a try.

Late Dinner

2009-06-13T00:29:00.002+07:00

We usually eat in the restaurant every evening, but sometimes it is real nice to make a homecooked meal. I'm not a good chef, but I like to eat so I keep trying. R was cooking the meat (1kg Beef), and I made the sideorders. The potatosallad is made with cocktail potatoes, which can be compared to "färskpotatis". I made the dressing out of some dijon mustard, olive oil, egg yolk, and onion. Totally ok. The steamed vegetables tasted great except from the fact that they were overcooked, my bad. Overall I'm satisfied, had to wait with dinner untill 11pm, but it was so worth it.

Cinnamonbuns

2009-06-12T20:14:00.002+07:00

The other day I took on the challenge of baking cinnamonbuns. I can't say that I'm good at baking, last time I put salt on my buns. These "kanelbullar" were ok, but way too hard. How do I make them soft like in Sweden?

VIP at The Bank

2009-06-12T15:41:00.003+07:00

This week I've probably been to the bank almost every day.. OMG it's not easy to get things done in Thailand. Today will hopefully be the last time, so I can do some more fun things instead.. oh have to go....

Planning The Menu

2009-06-06T19:43:00.002+07:00

The Jazz Festival is coming up in Hua Hin and I am trying to incorporate that theme into our menu. The question is which kind of food would fit with Jazz music? I was thinking some kind of American cusine, but that does not really go with our concept.

A few dishes from the menu at www.cajutan.com

Train

2009-06-01T21:40:00.002+07:00

I was on my way home from the restaurant when I witnessed yet another crazy accident. Well it was not actually an accident, but it was damn close. When I was driving up towards the railway I saw two motorbikes crashing into each other, not a big deal happens all the time. What I didn't realize was that the train was on its way. The guys on the motorbikes barely made it out of the way when the train went by. Creepy, it was so close... Happy it wasn't me, would have fainted.

Why Am I Still Alone?

2009-05-31T22:59:00.003+07:00

Saw someone checking out the neighbours house earlier today. They drive by really slowly and look through the gate and the fence, creepy. That house has already had burglery once this year. My bf told me to keep my curtains closed, than outsiders can't see how many people there is in the house, but we don't have any curtains. :( Wish I was not alone...

Have a question though.. In a restaurant which kind of music do you prefer to listen to??

At The Restaurant

2009-05-31T20:45:00.002+07:00

Sitting in the restaurant and waiting for some custommers to arrive. It's s quiet in Hua Hin now, and boring. Don't like to be here, I feel like something is missing. So used to work during the summers, 300 hrs a month. This is the first summer since I was 12 that I don't have to work, but instead of feeling relaxed I feel even more stressed out. Taking care of the restaurant here is a totally different thing. My duties today has been to give out sallaries, make a chocolate cake, and plan for next Saturday. Planning a "Svenska Flaggans Dag" dinner (swedish national day). It's fun to be a bit creative, but the question is if there are any Swedish people left here?!

Maybe I should create a seperate blog for the restaurant, could be fun, wht do you think?

Last Night

2009-05-30T16:48:00.002+07:00

Snapshot

2009-05-30T14:20:00.000+07:00

Dog Fight

2009-05-30T14:14:00.002+07:00

Sitting in bed with a little sad doggy next to me. The maid had given the dogs two big bones, two to share on three. Obviously they started to fight. There is a power struggle between the two males in the house. Tiger is older and has been here longer, but Cognac is bigger and stronger. Well Cognac attacked Tiger and bit him so bad that he started to bleed. Oh my little puppy.. The wound is not that bad, but he is realy sad and scared.

Snapshot

2009-05-29T16:42:00.000+07:00

I'm Going Bananas

2009-05-29T16:16:00.002+07:00

We have banana trees in our garden, with a whole bunch of bananas on. I have a big problem though, I can't reach. They are hanging out over the street and I have no clue how to get up to them. Anyone want to help me??
If you wonder why they are green, it is because they don't change into yellow untill you have harvest them. Want one now, Thai bananas are smaller and much sweeter than the normal ones we get in Sweden.

Scared of The Dark

2009-05-29T14:29:00.002+07:00

I hate sleeping alone, usually I have to get drunk before going to bed. Last night I thought I would be fine. Went to bed around midnight and put on a film. At first it was fine, but then I started to hear thing. I tried to stay calm since I know that it might just be in my head. Then the dogs started to bark, OMG got so scared. Got up to see if it was anything outside the house, but nothing. If it happens tonight again, I will get freaked out. Hate being in the dark bymyself. Maybe I should get a gun or something else that I can protect myself with. In Thailand guns does not cost much, but having one goes against my beliefs. We'll see... Now I'm gonna take a powerwalk at the beach. Take care!

Rain

2009-05-28T22:19:00.002+07:00

When I woke up I didn't want to go out because it was too sunny. Later I decided to take a swim, but then it was suddenly pouring down. I can never be totally satisfied, can I? Always have something to complain about. Cognac just jumped up on the table, oh stupid dog. He doesn't understand that he is not as small as a chiwawa...

Happy Birthday Mum

2009-05-28T16:08:00.001+07:00

Bar - Man U 2-0

2009-05-28T06:52:00.002+07:00

I don't like football and I will probably never like it. Watching a whole match on TV was like torture. It was more interesting to stare into my glas of wine than watching the game. We were all supposed to go out around 10, did not happen, had to wait untill 1.30. Maybe that was a good thing though, could wait untill the sun went up to drive home. Met some Finish and Norwegian people. Think I scared them a bit, telling them about the real Thailand. It was not my attention, just don't want them to be so damn naive, could land them into a lot of trouble. Thailand is not like Scandinavia, shit happens here every day. Was talking to some Thai people as well, one of the girls must have been bisexual or something, and they thought I was half Thai... Where did that come from?!

"The Truth is That I Miss You"

2009-05-28T00:45:00.002+07:00

Why are you not here with me you ass?

Having a Maid

2009-05-27T21:16:00.002+07:00

Before I moved to Thailand I thought that having servants, a maid, or just someone who cleanes your home, was very discriminating. I come from a socialistic country where everyone is supposed to be equal. Living in Thailand I have changed my perception about less qualified jobs. Everyone needs to make money, if you don't have an ecucation or a usefull network you have to take whatever is available. I know that a lot of people treat their maids like shit, the wife will abuse them and the husband will fuck them.
My parents got their maid straight after I moved out of their house (wonder why). Now we have had the same maid for 2,5 years. Her name is Gai, which means chicken, and she's the best! I'm alone in my parents house and she takes care of me like I was her daugther. Obviously we can't communiate properly, but today we decided that she's gonna teach me Thai during the summer. Sounds like a plan, I'm both nervous and excited at the same time, I suck at Thai.

...

2009-05-27T16:46:00.000+07:00

Office Buddy

2009-05-27T14:38:00.003+07:00

Staying in Bed

2009-05-26T14:38:00.002+07:00

Cognac, Tiger, and Jai Dee

Delivery

2009-05-26T14:15:00.003+07:00

Phat Phad, Fried Vegetables

Gai Tod, Fried Chicken

Gung Gratiaem, Shrimps in Garlic

Penang Gai, Chicken in Penang Curry

Mentioned that I went down to Hua Hin right. We have a restaurant here so I'm gonna take care of it for the summer. Yesterday was so hungry that I ordered a whole bunch of food. Sooo good! Still have some in the fridge. Just looking at it makes me hungry again, have to go get some..

Change of Location

2009-05-25T19:39:00.002+07:00

Jai Dee, the laziest girl around

I've moved down to Hua Hin for the summer. Was supposed to go back to Sweden and work, but my plan's has changed quite a bit. Now I'm in my parents house waiting for some friends to come by. Hate being in Hua Hin, but nice to see some old friends and all the dogs. The latest puppy has got so big, jumping all over me, and I keep stumbling over him. Will probably hurt myself pretty bad some day.

Went down to the restaurant, so empty, gave them some job by making them buy and cook some food for me. Feeling like a princess with cooks and a maid. My maid is wonderfull by the way. Right now she's keeping me company untill my friends get here, not her job, but I guess she don't want me to be lonely. All my love to her..

After The Exams

2009-05-24T18:22:00.003+07:00

Pea pushing her sister, Hang and Me. I look tall for once.

The BU girls

Pea n Me

That's the way to do it!

It was so nice to finally be finished with all the exams, well actuallty I don't know if I'm finished, haven't got any information about the re-examination yet. However, I partied like I was finished. It was great, a perfect night. All girls and we rocked the club.

Snapshot

2009-05-20T20:24:00.003+07:00

The only thing I wear at the moment, except from the uniform..

Missed My Final Exam!!!

2009-05-20T13:05:00.002+07:00

I woke up with a bad feeling in my stomach, I rolled over and checked the time on my phone. It was already 10:21, I had set the alarm on 8:00. It took me a few seconds to realize what had happened, and what a big mistake I had made. I was 1 hour and 21 minutes late for my exam, and they do not let you in after an hour. In panic I started to cry and tried to think of ways that I could retake the exam, but it was too late. I am supposed to graduate in december, but this class is only offered in January. I would have to wait to graduate for one more year.

I threw on my uniform and took a motorcycle taxi to uni. I had to talk to someone, I had to figure out what to do. My advisor said I should do a request of re-examination, but she thought it was too late. My options were to whitdrawl or get an F. As I filled out the request, my dean came in through the door. I asked him if I could please talk to him. Last time I saw him he was the one crying, this time it was me. It felt like he was feeling compassion, but I don't know yet, He just told me to focus on the rest of the exams. I felt like a total screw-up, how could I not wake up. Restaurant Management is one of the easy subjects, and I have 7 years of experience within the field.

I had to talk to someone. When I'm sad I can't keep things inside, it only makes me do stupid things. Hang met up wit me outside the canteen. I told her what happened and some other reasons to why I'm so stressed ot. She tried to comfort me as good as she could, and she started to look at the course outline of the class. Apparently the final was only 40% of the grade, and in midterm I got 36/40, which means even without the final I should be able to get a D. Not too bad, I am happy as long as I pass the class. So a bad start turned into something somewhat better. Thank you Hang!!

Snapshot

2009-05-17T13:01:00.003+07:00

The usuall balcony pic

Homofobic?

2009-05-17T12:44:00.002+07:00

Then do not come to Thailand. I have never experienced a society so open to homosexuality. When I look at a guy in school, I always think is he gay or is he straight. Many of them are gay, or at least they look like it. There are already more women than men in Thailand, excluding gays there are even less men for the women to fight about. Maybe that is why most men have more than one girlfriend. I have nothing against homosexuality, as long as they are not bitches. It's interesting to think about why homosexuality is more accepted here than in Sweden, or is it. What do you think?

Funny sign, are they cutting gay's apart or what...

Nope, it is actually a hair salon operated by gay guys.
You might recognize it, just next to Sala Daeng BTS. I actually prefer men or shemales doing my hair, they are the best.

Drowning in Exams

2009-05-15T20:58:00.002+07:00

I've just finished my research paper about female beauty ideals in Western versus Asian culture. OMG I'm so tired, but finally done. Now I should probably study for tomorrows Sustainable Tourism exam, but too tired. Maybe I'll just do it in the morning. Usually don't need to study that much, just use common sense. Blahhh Too tired for this, will try to be more present in the blog in the coming days.

Miracle Plant

2009-05-12T21:24:00.002+07:00

I was a killer, a murderer. I had ignorantly left something to die, without remorse nor compassion. When I realized my sin I did as most people, prayed to god for forgiveness. Prayed to make all the mistakes undone.

Oh bullshit, I don't believe in god and I don't believe in myself ever becoming a gardener. I have killed this plant twice already, but it is a fighter. Look at all the tiny leafs, so cute. The sad thing is that the plant does not know that I'm gonna leave it for 2 months. I hope the plant believes in god, then it can pray for a lot of rain. :)

Snapshot

2009-05-12T21:10:00.003+07:00

"What I see in my mirror"
Grey silk shirt, skinny jeans

Feeling Like an Alien

2009-05-12T19:48:00.003+07:00

Today we went on a roadtrip to Central City Bang Na. R had to make a new passport and apparently that was the nearest place. I love to explore new places, ok I'm already familiar with Central, but every shopping mall has its own "wibe". One thing that's for sure is that there is not many foreigners over there. People stared at me like I was an alien, hello have you never seen a farang before? Anyways, we went for our usual ritual, RAMEN! And we managed to crack a glass full of ice-coffe before we left, no one noticed, shitty service. Did some shopping, mostly for R, but will show you what later..

Cleaning Out My Closet

2009-05-11T13:17:00.002+07:00

A whole bunch of things I never wear. Want to give it to someone, but don't know where to put them. There are a lot of workers living next to our building, they have nothing. Could throw the clothes out the window, but that would be kinda rude. Any ideas of who to donate them to?

My other "closet"
Me and R share one closet, and it's not big, so we have to stuck the clothes wherever possible. At least now I've checked one thing on my "To Do" list.

The Diet Pills

2009-05-11T11:52:00.005+07:00

Love how this duo goes against the typical Thai music culture. They sing in English, which is rare, and they play with beauty ideals. You go girls!

Ice Cream for Breakfast

2009-05-11T11:39:00.003+07:00

My fridge is empty, except for ice cream and hot dogs. What does a girl how to do to get some food around here?! Yeah maybe put on clothes andgo get some, it's not like it's difficult to find food in Thailand. Can't be bothered, ice cream it is!

Today I have to do a whole lot of stuff. Final exams are coming up, need to finish a report for wednesday, and I need to prepare things for Sweden. Haven't done anything yet. What I'm stressed out about is that I still don't have ticket or anywhere to live in Sweden, also R hasn't fixed his passport and visa yet. I'm going crazy, and the only thing I want to do is shopping! :)

Mos Burger

2009-05-10T23:07:00.002+07:00

I'm home alone, which sucks! Not used to it so it feels really strange. The good thing though is that I don't have to think about cooking, since it is only for one. Mos Burger is a Japaneese fast food restaurant, which serves amazing burgers. My favourite is the Spicy Mos Cheese Burger, love it!

Shopping

2009-05-10T22:37:00.004+07:00

Powder pink silk tee 180B, Rainbow-coloured vest 180B, Jeans shorts 90B
(All from JJ, second hand section and fashion section)

Blue striped top, blue linnen shorts (Forever 21, Central World)

Gifts for friends, can't tell for whom...

Body butters from Boots

Blue, tiny cotton shoes

Plums or Cherries?

2009-05-10T22:25:00.002+07:00

These things kinda looks like plums, but they are the size of cherries, and they taste like lemon. Mutants or what?!

Snapshot

2009-05-10T22:10:00.002+07:00

Pastell Colours

Snapshot

2009-05-09T21:29:00.004+07:00

Posing and doing laundry on the balcony.

My Favourite Cafe

2009-05-09T21:01:00.004+07:00

A funny lady serving Darjeeling Tea

An amazing view over the Pokhara valley and the Himalays

Kitti Kitti

2009-05-09T19:29:00.003+07:00

I consider myself a "dog" person, they seem to fit my personality much better than cats, but recently I've started to love them. I want a cat! Found real cool kittens at JJ, they looked like small leopards, but I never want to buy an animal from there ever again and I believe that it is better to adopt. Well don't have time for a cat now anyways, but maybe when I get back from Sweden. Maybe I'll get a foster cat. SCAD has a lot of cats that needs temporary homes untill they find a new family. That might be something for me.

These beauties are all from SCAD, which is a cat and dog rescue center. If you are looking for a new pet I strongly reccomend this place.
Visit http://www.scadbangkok.org/adoption/adoptablecats.php for more information.

Ramen, Again...

2009-05-07T20:57:00.009+07:00

Ramen with BBQ Pork

Coconut Frostie

My baby, yummy!

Eating Ramen has become a weekly ritual lately. When R was finished at the office and I had done my shopping we met up at MBK for dinner. As always I don't remember the name of the restaurant, but it is on the top floor, opposite to the cinema. Last time I said that this place was much better than Habachi "8", on second thought I think they have nicer noodles, but Habachi's BBQ Pork was way better. Anyways this place has a much larger selection on their menu, which sometimes is a plus.

Shopping

2009-05-07T20:23:00.014+07:00

Grey silk shirt 250B, Blue oversized tee from Hypnotic 200B, Ballerinas 200B

Went out for some shopping today. Was supposed to get things for the summer, like clothes for work and things for friends. Didn't happen. After walking around in heels for some time, leading to blisters and pain, I finally bought these black balerinas. Not as comfy as I thought they would be. but at least ok to use at work. The shirts were more like spontaneous shopping (shopaholic behaviour). Both are made out of real nice materials, soft and silky. Got the stuff from the mall between MBK and Siam Square, which I've been recommending before. Personally I like the 3rd floor the most!

Horseshoe Point

2009-05-05T19:51:00.002+07:00

Horseshoe Point outside Pattaya is one of the most amazing horse centers I have ever seen. The indoor arena is in the middle of the Hotel, which means that the rooms surround the arena. It's beautiful with lots of mirrors and art on the walls. Here I am on a Lutsiano mix training for an Australian dressage trainer.

The Show-jumping trainer came from Finland, and was frankly not the very good at his job. My mother used to be a professional trainer and when I ride for her I both cry and bleed, but I get better and that is what I'm there for.

It was extremly hot, as you can see on my red face. Once I was almost fainting so I had jump down on the ground. This is a 5 year old pony wich was jumping like a cat, but a little bit too small for me.

This horse was nice but horrible at jumping. Overall Horseshoe Point is an amazing destination, as long as you love horses. Make sure to book lessons in advance if you want to make the most out of your stay. I recommend to maybe stay in another hotel, because when you are not on the horseback there is not much else to do.

Swedish Caught in Gunfire

2009-05-05T14:19:00.004+07:00

A Swedish girl was caught in gunfire at Khao San Road the other night. She was shot and is now recovering at the hospital. The girl was not involved in the drama. Apparently it was between a married Thai couple. As always, love crimes must be one of the most common here. People are killimg each other and themselves because of "broken heart". 3 people died this time and tourist was injured, when is this gonna stop?

The man on the pic has nothing to do with the story.

A lot of people ae talking about the tourist destination Thailand as a sinking ship. Political problems, how they treat the Burmese refugees, high bank fees, difficulties to get Visa, and foreigners being objects of several crimes, are all problems which scares off tourists. Thailand has already lost a great percetage of tourism, and it does not seem to get any better.

For Smulan

2009-05-04T19:46:00.003+07:00

Jeans dog collar 155B

I don't remember my doggys size, so now I keep buying all kinds of collars, one must fit. Sounds bad that I don't remember right? It's been 9 months since I last saw her, oh how I miss her. Here I'm surrounded by chiwawas, and there much smaller.

Ramen

2009-05-04T19:28:00.004+07:00

Ramen with Roasted Pork

R fiddling with the seasoning

R's chopstick method is really wierd...

Pork and Shrimp Dumplings

Yummy!

Today we walked all the way from home to Carrefour, much longer than we thought. Well I was fine, but someone else was complaining. It's way too hot to walk around in Bangkok, but I kinda miss it. Like to just walk around and see new places and streets you've been to before, there is always something to discover. Well anyways, we had our dinner at Hachiban-Ramen, if that's the name. Well just remember the "8" in the soup, that's basically the logo of the restaurant. Real good, but there is one in MBK that actually is better.

Mmm Marabou

2009-05-04T19:11:00.002+07:00

Wiiii, I found Marabou Milk Chocolate in Thailand. I'm so happy right now, this is amazing. This has only happened once before during 4 years. Got it at Carrefour for 86B, good deal. Not easy to find though, they had put the box on the bottom shelf, almost impossible to see. Oh so happy!

Intercultural Studies

2009-05-04T13:39:00.003+07:00

I have a report paper for Intercultural Studies due on May 15, but I still haven't figured out what to write about. It should be about 10 pages, and that's a big thing for me. I can't write that much. Had some thoughts about love relationships, comparing Thailand and Sweden, but I don't know. It can be about anything that has something to do with culture.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Shopping

2009-05-04T08:37:00.003+07:00

Messy tee 80B, Studded bracelet 20B, Dog collar with bling bling

Crazy People

2009-05-03T23:43:00.002+07:00

Just watched the Thai news, translated by R. It was this man who had killed a girl because he needed money for medicin for his sick wife. He saw the girl walk by his house and thought that she looks like she has money. The girl was on her way home from school when the man draged her into the house and strangled her. After he had killed her, he took 700B out of her wallet and raped her dead body.

These things happen quite often here, it's horrible what people will do to get some money. The story sounds a bit wered though, I mean why would he rape her when she was already dead. Sounds more like he raped her, killer her, and then took the money so that it would look like a robbery. Oh these crazy people, why can't they just keep their fantasies in their heads. On the TV he had tears in his eyes begging for forgiveness. When are people gonna understand that they have to pay for their actions? I'm sick of it!

Today

2009-05-03T12:31:00.004+07:00

Waiting for R to get out of the shower. We'r gonna go to JJ and do some shopping. Well the only thing I really have to get is a collar for my Smulan. Grandma called and had some requests. I'm not good at getting what I have to buy, I usually end up with lots of other stuff. Have to get some things for friends. but have no idea what. One of my bestfriends in Sweden just had a son, so it would be nice to fins some cute baby clothes for him. His name is Ville and he weighed more than 4kg when he was born, a big boy.

Juicy

2009-05-02T16:23:00.002+07:00

Thirsty? It's extremly hot in Bangkok, and it's easy to get dehydrated. The Soontra juices are found at many BTS stations, but remember you can't bring drinks into the train. The beet root juice was a bit wered, but the passionfruit carrot juice was real nice. They also have coconut juice, lemongrass juice, and some other drinks.

Me, My Hair

2009-05-02T16:01:00.005+07:00

Every second week I get tired of my hair or some other part of my body. Whatever I do it never gets the way I want it. I know I might sound vein, and I know that I should try to appreciate what I have. It feels like changing the way I look will make me happier, but that is probably not the problem. My image of beauty has changed a lot during the last years. I have started to see Asian look as an ideal. That does not meen that I want to look Asian, it just makes me see myself as something very different. I usually feel more confident when I'm back in Sweden, there I am like everyone else, except a head shorter. Thoght I would have these kind of problems when I was 14 not 23. Living here makes me really fucked up sometimes.

Got the hair done at hairdresser on the second floor of MBK. Don't remember the name, but it is near the escalators and next to a Manicure place. Not the best, but quite cheap. Would have wanted some more higlights though.

Snapshot

2009-04-30T22:04:00.000+07:00

I'm in a daze, black strapless top and stretchy jeans shorts.

Intercultural Studies

2009-04-30T21:47:00.002+07:00

A couple of years ago when I was a newbie in Thailand, I blindly took in all the impressions. I was like blue eyed little child thinking that everything and everyone was genuine and sincere. Learning a bit of the language gave me a deeper understanding of things, both good and bad. I obviously learned the bad words such as “Ai Hea” and “Son Tin”, but also the more loving phrases such as “Tee Rak” and “Jai Dee”. I have had them all thrown at me, and frankly I think that they are misused. Words should be chosen carefully as every time we use them they loose one more fragment of what they used to mean.

Heart Talk; Say What You Feel in Thai by Christopher Moore is a study of the emotional part of the Thai language and the importance of the heart. The heart “Jai” is used in several contexts and phrases, some that will be difficult for an outsider to understand. Mr. Moore helps us understand these terms and maybe also the feelings bustling inside Thai people. He opts to make a connection between the image “The Land of Smiles” and the use of the heart in the language. Personally I believe that the outside smile does not tell much about what is going on deep inside the people.

A heart phrase can be used both to insult and to compliment, there is both positive and negative aspects involving the heart, depending on which word you attach to the “Jai”. In the West we might not use the actual word heart and we probably not have similar phrases, but that is because we talk in a different way. We do not have to use “heart” because we will be able to describe things in other ways. An example is the expression “Jai Dee” which means “Good Heart”. How does anyone know if I have a good heart or not, is it in the things I do or in the things I say? Even those people who are good at promoting themselves and has a good image can be the most horrible monsters. We hear about pedophiles and murderers, almost every time the people around them are shocked, because they could never imagine the person doing something like that. With this example I want to show that what is conveyed on the outside might not have anything to do with what is actually on the inside. However, the “Jai” expressions that are descriptive of the nature of a person as in sensitive, impatient, and emotional, are useful and easily translate into Western Languages.
Chapter 12 of the book is devoted to romance, “pillow talk”, and commitment. Here I would like to repeat my previous statement that words can easily be misused. “When one uses one of these heart phrases, remember that the listener is expecting the speaker to reveal the true condition of his or her feelings”. Mr. Moore claims that “In most cases the Thai listener has an experienced ear, judging each heart phrase with a view of determining if it is sincere”. Is this not obvious, does this not happen in every culture, and finally why do people use the phrases if they are not sincere? If you proclaim your love over and over again, it will loose its power. Special expressions needs to be used for special circumstances. In Thailand people seem to take “I love you” very easily, I hear it every day walking home from school, the same applies to the Thai version “Chan Rak Khun”. In my language “Jag älskar dig” is only used for those people you keep in your heart, your family and partner. When my grandfather was in the intensive care unit suffering brain damage, I called to tell him that I love him. When I later arrived back to Sweden my grandmother told me that he had been telling all the nurses that his granddaughter had called all the way from Thailand to say that she loves him. If that phrase was a normal part of our phone calls then it would not have made such a big difference.

The Swedish language is in my opinion not a very romantic or attractive language. I guess that is why most of our rock bands and pop stars sing in English. When a Thai TV show was filming at Bangkok University, they asked us how to say “awesome” in our own languages, in Swedish there is no such word. I would describe an event or an emotion by much more specific words. Words that have their own meaning and impact. Even if I am not proud of my language, I know that the words I use are powerful and sincere. I much rather keep it that way, not having to over analyze if word are genuine or not. Swedish people are known as complainers, but even though if it is negative we find ways to express how we feel about things, that is better that keeping it all inside.

Nepal

2009-04-28T15:00:00.002+07:00

The Anapura range, in Pokhara

Happy little me in Kathmandu

I'm working on a paper for my Travel Agency Management class. Supposed to write about Nepal, but I end up dreaming away into photos. Oh, I want to go back! It is easily one of the best places I have ever been to. The mountains are magical, they drag you to them, and make you never want to leave.

After Rain Comes...

2009-04-28T12:36:00.005+07:00

Ai Hea, eating a snake or a giant worm.

Scary

The rain was pouring down, when it stopped I looked out the window and what did I see.. An Ai Hea crawling around in the mud. First I thought it was a rat, because I could only see something moving, but then I realised what it was. Amazed and a bit freaked out I tried to catch it on the camera. Impossible, wow they are real good at blending in to the environment, or maybe my camera is not very good at zooming. Looked around for a while and saw one more, right next to the neighbours huts. It must be a lot of them down there, and they are obviously not vegetarians. I just hope that they can't get into our building.

Bad Day

2009-04-25T23:10:00.003+07:00

Have had a really bad day today... Worked on the sustainable tourism project untill 3 last night. Overslept in the mornig, woke up without knowing that I had turned off the alarm, missed the first class, and 30 minutes late for the second. Had a presentation, showed the film for the class, got lots of critique. I know I'm not a film editor, if I was I would probably be in the communication arts classes, but I'm not. I think the film was ok, did my best with the shitty material I had. Told my group a few days ago that it was gonna be bad, but no one offered to help, so it was all on me. Obviously now I get the blame. Fuck! The quality of the film was not good, but it was detailed, as in showing how a business can practice sustainable tourism management in their operations. So annoying. I hope the teacher grades us depending on the information, not on the visual. Mainly I'm sad that none of my group members stepped up to help, think they could have done a better job.

For everyone who's planning on studying in Thailand, get ready to do all group assignments by yourself. Foreigners are usually expected to all the work, because we are persumed to have a better English. You will do all the work, still the whole group will get the same grade. Is it fair? Do the teachers care? ...NO!

Volcano

2009-04-24T01:04:00.002+07:00

This is my spaghetti and meatsauce volcano. It has it all, rocket salad, avokado, and cheese. There's no point writing down ingredients and directions right?! Everyone probably knows how to make it. Think it was the first thing I learned to cook, after scrambled eggs. No one taught me, I just put one and one together. My ingredients has changes a bit since I became intolerant to lactose, but I have my pills. The secret of a real nice meatsauce (not bolognese) is garlic creamcheese. It melts and makes the sauce nice and creamy. Could eat this every day, my mum actually eats it for breakfast every morning, but I'm not that addicted!

Shopping

2009-04-24T00:10:00.005+07:00

2 pairs of jeans leggings and light blue jeans shorts, all 650B

A whole lot of stretch, am I planning to gain weight, nooo. Got all this from Ground-L at Platinum. Platinum is a wholesale shopping plaza located next to Pantip Plaza and opposite to Pratunam. Bring a few friends when you go here, because you have to buy more than 3 items. One thing that is a bit annoying is that you are not allowed to try anything on.

Sunglass bag from Forever21

Forever21 is still my favourite shop in Bangkok. It's filled with stuff and it is almost impossible to leave without buying anything. You find the shop at Central World, which is a great place for young fashion. I was lucky, got a discount of 60B because it was something wrong with the price tag. :)

Grey heels from Madam Mucci, Black studded sandals from Viva

Got the heels from a place at Siam Square, which I've recommended before, only 300B. The are much higher that they look though, pain for my little feet. The sandals are from ZEN in Central World. Tried to find similar studded style on heels, but nope. My inner rocker has a craving for leather and studded things.

Snapshot

2009-04-22T18:02:00.002+07:00

Wet hair, nude tunic with blue brodery, cut off jeans.

Snapshot or "egoshot", its fun to take stupid outfit pictures even though they don't make sense. Need to work on my selfconfidence, so I'll keep on dancing.

Fieldtrip Dining

2009-04-22T17:24:00.011+07:00

Our fieldtrip basically consisted of munching, love it. The trip is 5% of our final grade, and I definately get an A when it comes to eating, I should be fatter. Last year when I studied Food Service Operations, I went on a similar fieldtrip to Conrad, which was great, so I had something to compare to. The food was probably a little bit better at Four Seasons, but I like the contempory style of Conrad better. Now you might think that BU students are spoiled.. Well we all pay 1000B for each fieldtrip, nothing comes for free.

Starter; Salad of Smoked Duck with Lentils and Apple Cider Vinegar
Actually the most liked dish.

Vegetarian Starter; Fresh Potato and Cherry Tomato Salad
We also had a "Sweet Corn Soup with Crab Dumpling, but it was too boring to put on picture, and it tasted like powder mix soup.

Meat, Roasted Pork Fillet Wrapped with Black Forest Ham, Aspargus and Green Pepper Sauce
Not very impressed wit this dish, only ate half and gave the rest to a hungry friend. Hands up for the Garlic Mashed Potatoes, yummy!

Fish; Grilled Salmon Breaded with Basil Pesto, Grilled Eggplant and Herb Potatoes

Vegetarian; Vegetable Lasanga with Tomato Sauce

I wish I was a vegetarian, this dish was amazing, probably a recepee from the Biscotti restaurant.

Desert; Strawberry Tower with Passion Fruit Sauce and Lime Marengue

Where are the strwberries? Too full up by this time.

Four Seasons, Bangkok

2009-04-22T16:26:00.013+07:00

Today I had a field trip with my Restaurant Management class. We went to Four Seasons, which is located on the Ratchadamri rd. Four Seasons is an hotel chain with several hotels around the world. They are especially known for their quality service. In Bangkok they are one of the 5 luxury five-star hotels, competing with The Oriental, Peninsula, and Shangri-La. The ambience of the hotel is luxurious yet relaxed. The hotel accomodates some of the best restaurants in town, and that's why we were there, to get a taste of fine dining.

THE ROOMS

One of the rooms at Four Seasons, Bangkok. All rooms were refurbished 3 years ago with an Asian interior design. I was not very impressed, have seen better, but Four Seasons are more famous for their service than for the actual product. 10000B is what you have to put out for a night in this room.

The tub in one of the suites. On the opposite wall there is an LCD TV. Like a spa and cinema in one. Want to be in there now!

The pool, like an oasis in the middle of the city.

THE RESTAURANTS

Biscotti Italian restaurant, with an extensive wine collection.

Biscotti is probably one of the best restaurants in Bangkok, or so they say.

A Japanese restaurant, forgot the name... Sashimi for about 600B, a bit pricy if compared to franchises like Fuji, but it might depend on quality. There must be some difference, maybe the tuna is still alive when served. :)

Spice Market

Snapshot

2009-04-20T13:07:00.003+07:00

Oversized blue vest with birds and hearts, can it be more childish? I'm feeling good, even though it is 35C outside and my skin is covered with pearls of sweat.

Milkshake

2009-04-19T15:46:00.002+07:00

I'm craving sweet munchies. Made this shake out of smarties, small sweet Thai bananas, and chocolate ice cream. It doesn't look very nice, but I tell you it was heavenly. Want more, but all the ice cream is finished. Don't know what happened to it, last night it was there, now the box is empty. Hmm.. Who is to blame?

Mango

2009-04-18T23:43:00.003+07:00

Mango with sticky rice and coconut milk.

On my way home from school I picked up some snacks so that I wouldn't have to cook lunch, very late lunch (6pm). I bought this mango from an old Thai lady. As she cut it and put it into the box she kept dropping pieces onto the ground. I just smiled and pretended to not notice. When I asked her how much it was, she said something and showed something else on her fingers. Had no clue what she meant, handed her a hundred baht and kept on smiling. I've realized that I smile much more often here than in Sweden, but still I think I'm happier over there. Smiling has become a gesture instead of a sign for happiness. Well the Mango was sweet, delicious, and only 20B. Couldn't finish it so blended the rest of the Mango into a shake, very nice.

Flights

2009-04-18T12:08:00.002+07:00

Looking for an affordable return ticket to Sweden, not the easiest. I thought that they would lower the prices, because of the reccesion, to make people travel again, but it looks like they have done the opposite. The cheapest I've found so far is 44000B with Finnair, which I don't like very much. Every time I've gone with Finnair it has been problems like delays and bad service, not to mention the food, disguisting. SAS is not much better, the service is so bad, put a smile on your face bitch! hehe.. The worst flight ever must be with Air Royal Nepal, or something like that. I was upgraded to first class which is great, but we had to wait for hours untill we got to board the plane. No screens telling us where to go or how much longer to wait, but I guess that's the airports fault not the airline, great trip though.

Has anyone heard about Air Berlin, how are they to fly with?

Any other tips on where to find cheap tickets?

Preregistration

2009-04-16T21:23:00.002+07:00

Argh, I'm so mad. Was making my online preregistration for next term, and I could only apply for two classes, and apparently that is not enough credits to register so now it is all fucked up! I actually need to take 5 classes, and it is very important that I get them because it is my last semester. Only 8 more months and then I will graduate, woho.. However, if I can't register I can't take the classes. My study advisor said that she would help me to get them all, but I'm scared it won't help. I really need to take "computer reservation systems", and it is only open for certain students. The problem is that I am a fourth year student, but I have transferred and they don't seem to get that. Calm down, calm down.. I'll just have to take a very interesting trip to the student office on saturday, now everything is closed. Don't even know if I have class tomorrow, think it is still holiday, am I right?

Smulan

2009-04-16T21:09:00.004+07:00

This is my "wiener dog" Smulan, she's the greatest little thing on this earth. It's been 8 months since I last saw her, he lives with my grandma in Sweden, and I miss her so much. Before I moved to Thailand, she was always with me, besides from when I was in school. It is funny how a dog can have such a great importance, but I guess the dog is the man's best friend, or in this case the woman's best friend. I've had her since I was 14, which means that she has seen a lot. More importantly she is the only thing I have left that reminds me of a very special person, maybe she has been like a substitute. Anyways, she's the best and I count the days untill I will see her again.

KFC Delivery

2009-04-16T15:19:00.002+07:00

We waited for an hour, no food. Called back to KFC and they told us that it must be something wrong with the shops computer. We kept on waiting, after 1 hour and 45 minutes the little delivery guy finally appeared on my doorstep. Not very good service compared to Pizza Company which only takes up to 30 minutes, still KFC charge an extra 20B as a delivery fee.
They gave us a free tuna-chicken salad for waiting, but that tastes like shit. Well not shit, but tuna which I can't stand to even smell. Besides from that the food was great, spicy and crispy. I have to warn you though, the chicken is very oily, doesn't look like it, but it is. Not nice for the tummy. Overall it was ok, I will probably not order delivery again, but can't stay away long from the chicken.

What is Your Favourite Cocktail?

2009-04-15T18:43:00.004+07:00

I'm planning the cocktail list for the summer. Me and my parents have a restaurant "Cajutan" on the West coast of Sweden, Grebbestad. Want to have some fruity drinks like raspberry mojitos and so on. However, to find good coktails that will fit men is a much more difficult task. Most men usually order beer, whiskey, or a cuba libre, but I want to offer more varieties. Beer is nice, but it can easily become boring, or does it?
When it comes to cocktails I know what I like, but not everyone has the same taste as me, therefore I'm trying to include all flavors; bitter, sour, sweet, and fruity. While I was searching for cocktail recepees I found a whole lot of disguisting drinks, I wonder what the bartender was thinking while combining such a things. I am also not so fond of the names, they always seem to apply on sex, not very classy. Am I being too picky? Well if anyone of you as a favourite drink recepee you want to share with me, send a comment. :)

220 Deaths

2009-04-15T16:05:00.006+07:00

Like I mentioned in a previous post, don't drink and drive during Song Khran. Well now we have the statistics of the accidents for this holiday, and it does not look good. Song Khran is a death trap. "Road casualties climbed to 220 deaths and 2,658 people injured as 2,658 accidents were recorded nationwide in the first four of the "seven most dangerous days" of the Songkran festival." 220 deaths in 4 days just because of alcohol and speeding, it's outrageous.

Chanterelle Chicken

2009-04-15T15:08:00.010+07:00

Yesterday when planning dinner, I was totally out of ideas. It seems like we keep eating the same stuff over and over again. So without an actual plan, I started to put things together, experimenting. The final product was; Chicken marinated in thyme and garlic, vegetables with thyme and lemon, chanterelle sauce, and spaghetti.

You need:
2 Chicken legs
1 Carrot
5 Mushrooms
Brocolli
Thyme
Lemon
4 Garlic cloves
Package of chanterelle sauce
Butter
Spaghetti

Directions:
Marinate the chicken with thyme, dried chilli, dried garlic, and some salt and pepper. Fry it or bake it in the oven, if you have one. Chop up the garlic, carrots, brocolli, and mushrooms, into big pieces. Fry it in olive oil and put in some fresh thyme and a bit of lemon juice. Mix up the chanterelle powder with some milk and water, cook the spaghetti, and you are ready. Enjoy your meal.

Snapshot

2009-04-15T14:52:00.003+07:00

White Ray Ban's, pink "Protect The Skin Your In" tee, Fox jeans shorts.

Lazy

2009-04-14T15:14:00.005+07:00

Feeling like a snail, whatever I do, I do it slow. My head is pounding and my body is tired. What have I done to deserve this? Nothing, but maybe that's the point. I should go to the gym and get a tough workout, but I see no point of running on a freakin treadmill. I like excersising while doing something, like horse riding, then I have fun while my body is working. Need to find something like that.

Tees and Tops

2009-04-13T20:06:00.004+07:00

White tee 80B, blue vest 150B from Rabbitch, Marc Jacobs inspired pink tee "Protect The Skin You're In" from Monomania 100B. All bought at Chatuchack market.

Chatuchack also called JJ is a weekend market with all things you can imagaine. If you like me are tired of asking about the price just look for "Sale" signs, always a set price. The best section for fashion in the one next to the MRT station, then walk your way down to the seconhand section.

White shirt 200B, black and white plaited shirt 200B, nude tunic 250B, black shirt with flowered linning and butons from Yhe Ping 250B. All bought at Siam Square, the mall behind Hard Rock Cafe.

Siam Square is the area across the street of Siam Paragon and Siam Center. It is the perfect place to find young and trendy fashion. There are lots of small shops all along the streets and also underneath buildings. Most stundets goes to a mall which is located between Hard Rock Cafe and MBK (2nd floor), where they have lots of cheap clothes. On the 3rd floor near the staircase there is a small shop with pretty shirts and tunics, everything for 290B, but ask for a discount and you will only pay 250B. Good luck!

Why?

2009-04-13T17:21:00.002+07:00

Yesterday the traffic was rolling on in its usuall messy way. Taxis everywhere and busses stopping wherever they want to. Today I don't know because I don't want to go outside. Not that I am scared of getting shot, but because I will be drowned in water. It is always the same. So instead I'm sitting inside watching the news. Bangkok (Victory Monument) looks like a war zone, with burning buses and teargas. However, the army is there, but they say that they are scared and that they don't want to hurt anyone. A scared army doesn't sound very comforting. I guess they would like to be somewhere else celebrating the holiday. Really bad timing for this whole shit.

Snapshot

2009-04-13T14:54:00.002+07:00

Iron Maiden t-shirt from JJ. Not my favourite band, but the tee is damn comfy.

State of Emergency

2009-04-13T14:24:00.002+07:00

This morning there was a crackdown between the army and UDD "the red shirts" near Victory Monument, where I used to live. Around 70 people has been injured by tear gas and bullets. There is still not a curfew, but media warns the public to not leave their homes. I am happy that I live far away from that area, but still it affects our life. Yesterday I went to Chatuchack market for some shopping. My friend called me to tell me that something big was going on, protesters stopping the primeminister's convoy. On my way back to the BTS I saw the military and their tanks, and understood that this is getting serious.

Tom Kha Gai

2009-04-12T11:24:00.004+07:00

Yesterday I cooked up a Tom Kha Gai, which is coconut soup with chicken. Here they have all sorts of packages with different curries and pastes, you can probably find that in Sweden as well. However I am in a phase where I want to learn to cook every thing from scratch. I believe that is much more healthier, since you know what you put in your food. This soup is very easy to make as long as you have the right ingredients.

You need:

400g Chicken (with some bones)

Coconut Milk

Chicken broth

4 Chillies

Ginger

Lemongrass

"Green Leafs"

Mushrooms or veggies such as; tomato, shallotes, cabbage

First cook the chicken on high temperature to make it golden. Then add chillies, ginger, and lemongrass. Pour in some water and the chicken broth, and then add mushrooms or vegetables, also add the coconut milk. If you want some more taste you can add some lemon juice and some dried chilli. It is as easy as that, give it a try!

Don't Drink & Drive

2009-04-12T10:46:00.006+07:00

A tuk tuk driver stopped because of d&d

Have you ever taken your car, motorcycle, or maybe tuk tuk, home after a heavy night out? In Sweden most people would say no. Here it is a totally different story. I used to think that d&d was awfull. I couldn't understand how people could be so ignorant and risk their own life and others for a couple of beers. Living here I have learned to accept things that are not in any way justifyable, it's just the way it is. I have been driving home so drunk that the next day I don't remember where I've parked my motorcycle, and I have seen friends in horrible acidents. What can I say, monkey do what monkey see.

During Song Khran the alcohol related accidents are many. This is a busy time for hospitals and emergeny rooms. Even if you are a responsible individual who don't drink, you have to be carefull during this time. Almost all Thai people will have alcohol in their bodies, it is a holiday, even your taxi driver will have a bottle of Sangsom in his pocket. Be aware crossing streets, going in taxis, etc. This is a very fun time to be in Thailand, but you have to keep your eyes open if you don't want to end up in a hospital bed.

MBK Still Sucks!

2009-04-12T01:15:00.002+07:00

I've already made clear how I feel about MBK... It is tourist trap with a whole lot of crap. Still I ended up shopping there today. Ok you can call me a hypocrit. Went there to buy some dvd's. My internet is too slow to get series and stuff like that. Last time I went I bought Weeds season 3 (4 discs), the assholes gave me season 4 which is only 3 discs, therefore they cheated me on 100B last time. Of course they won't trust a "falang" so I had to call up my bf and make him speak to them. It is shit how this country treats foreigners. They charge higher prices and try to scam us every chance they get. No it's not that bad, but we even have to pay more in national parks. Anyways got the discs and went to deal with my hair. I never get satisfied with how it looks, always boring. After that I ended my being tourist day by snapping some photos of the MBK building. Probably every tourist has a photo of that place.

"Påskharen"

2009-04-11T23:15:00.002+07:00

Yum, the "easter hare" has been here and he left me a bag of candy. Licorice and all sorts of yummy treats. The sad thing is that the bag is already empty and my tummy is in pain, still want more though. To all the Swedish Bangkokians out there; Go to Central Food Hall, they have "Karamel Kungen" candy!

Snapshot

2009-04-11T22:19:00.002+07:00

Plaited shirt, 200B at Siam Square, jeans from Forever21, and studded gladiators.

Having the Munchies?

2009-04-10T20:21:00.002+07:00

Lab Moo= pork fried with mint leaves and shallots

Khao Niao= sticky rice

The perfect meal, if you add a large bottle of beer.

The Holiday Has Begun

2009-04-10T20:11:00.002+07:00

The girls are hanging out by the "swimmingpool",

and the men are cruising on the river.

Classes Cancelled

2009-04-10T15:52:00.005+07:00

Last night the prime minister announced today as a public holiday. The "red shirts" are going crazy in Bangkok, blocking several main roads. Since busses and other kinds of transportation can't get through, people end up stranded on the streets. A friend text me early in the morning telling me that our classes was cancelled both today and tomorrow. It came so sudden, was supposed to have a presentation tomorrow. Like always the information for foreigners is not what it should be. We always found out about things last. The announcement on the BU website was only in Thai, not ok for a international university!

I am hapy to have a few more days of holiday, but since Victory Monument is blocked I can't really get out of here. It might be nice to just stay in as well. For the moment the protests are not harmfull, but you never know what will happen. I don't want to be caught in the middle.

Thunder

2009-04-09T18:14:00.005+07:00

It's dark, the clouds are roling in, closer and closer.

It relieves me.

The wind blows in my hair.

The other day when I had been out for some shopping, a thunder storm came in over the city. I was on the BTS train, and every time the train stopped, the rain attacked us. I was supposed to get off at Phrakanong, but it was impossible, the rain was pouring down. When I got off at the final station, the lightning hit just next to us and everyone screamed. My heart pounded like a carpenters hammer. When the lightning hit once again, I almost peed my pants. Finally in Tesco the electricity went off, but that is not a problem for me, I can shop blindfolded if that is needed. :)

Song Khran Plans?

2009-04-09T17:35:00.006+07:00

Want to be as drunk as in this pic!

I am trying to figure out what I want to do for Song Khran.. Should be easy, but I just can't make up my mind. Some people are going away, some staying in Bangkok, and my old friends are in Hua Hin. This will be my fourth Thai new year, so I'm not that hyped about it. It's always the same, a whole lot of water and white powder in the eyes. You could say that I am easy target, used to be one of the rare blondes walking around, so much fun to throw water at. Not all good memories.. Once I was thrown into a fountain with all clothes on, another time a group of guys held me and put the powder right into my eyes. Oh and one time I knocked down a guy, hehe..

Bf's Cooking

2009-04-08T21:24:00.004+07:00

My eating habits are good, but not very healthy. I eat what I want, and when I want. I can easily eat a whole pizza or a big chunk of beef by myself. I am small so some people (my dad) gets surprised every time I eat more than them. Even though I eat a lot, the weight is not a problem. Obviously I am not as thin as the Thai girls, but that should not be an ideal. There are so many of those girls who have serious eating disorders. They don't realize it, or maybe they just don't want to see it as a problem, but the fact is that they throw up after meals and use laxatives. I've made clear that I'm not one of them, but I still want to be healthy, so today I was going to cook fried vegetables with brown Jasmine rice. Big NO NO from my bf, so now I'm not even allowed to go into the kitchen. He is scared that I will go smaller, he would actually want me to be "fatter". He says that he doesn't want to be with a little boy. Well that's a good argument, so no diet for me, at least not today. Instead fried chicken in chilli, which at the moment hurts both my eyes and nose.

(Feeling like my English is getting really bad)

Intercultural Studies

2009-04-08T21:03:00.007+07:00

My Take on Identity and Violence: The Illusion of Destiny by Amartya Sen
To define my identity and who I am, is not an easy task. I have many times tried to figure out who I am, but my thoughts always tend to drift away, and I end up thinking about who I want to be. If who I am is defined by the information in my passport, then I am a 157 cm tall Swedish female born in 1986. However, my identity is not me. An identity classifies and puts us into little boxes, but it does not clarify who we are and how we think and feel.

A “solitarist” approach to human identity views human beings as members of one particular group. With Identity and Violence: The Illusion of Destiny Amarya Sen takes a aim at this approach. He argues that this view is both morally undesireable and descriptively wrong. Sen writes “A Hutu laborer from Kigali may be pressured to see himself only as a Hutu and incited to kill Tutsis... he is not only a Hutu, but also a Kigalian, a Rwandan, an African, a laborer and a human being.”. Since all of us contain multitudes of identities, we can choose among them, but usually we empasize on those we share with others rather than those we do not share. It is unfortunate that we have a tendancy to put ourselves into groups, it makes us alienate others, and create boundaries between us. The fact is that Hutus and Tutsis won’t put down their arms just because they have similarities such as being Rwandans and laborers. They have made their identity choices, and they will fight to keep those identities. Sen neglects these facts, instead her argues that “in our normal lives we see ourselves as members of a variety of groups”. This is also true, I definately belong to more than one group. We could take Bangkok University as an example. There I belong to several groups, I am one of thousands of students, I belong to the group of international students, and I am a student with Swedish origins. I can define myself by these three groups, but they don’t tell much about where I feel like I belong. Just because I come from Sweden it does not mean that I belong with the other Swedish students on campus. In fact I rather go out of my group and socialize with people who can offer me new perspectives and interesting experiences.

The story about Kader Mia, a Muslim who were stabbed to death by Hindus, is horrible. The Hindus only saw him by one identity, that one of being a Muslim, but Kader Mia was not very different from them. He as well as them were living under poor conditions and their only objective was to feed their families. Kader Mia couldn’t feed his family that day, because he had been killed because of hate. It is very sad to know that these kind of hate crimes still happen today. Maybe not between the same people, but because of the reason that people devide others into categories. In Sweden being gay or homosexual is not always such a good thing. Their have been many hate crimes, where homosexual men have been tortured, raped, and sometimes killed by other men. They are all brothers, sons, and fathers. The only thing that seperates these men are that one has a different sexual orientation.

Sen said “for a bewildered child, the violence of identity was extraordinarily hard to grasp”, and “it is not particularly easy even for a still bewildered elderly adult”. I agree that it is definately not easy to grasp the violence of identity. Hate crimes are not bulit upon a purpose, it is just because. The offender can say that he did it because he hate a certain group of people, but he won’t be able to say who his victim was. He will never know how his victim thinks and feels, because he has already put this person into a category. Categories makes us into units, it takes away our ability of being unique and having individual values. I would rather be an outcast if I could keep my own thoughts, than being a part of a group with shared values and beliefs. Sen believes that children should also have an opportunity to choose who they want to be. He despites the concept of having seperate religious schools. "It is unfair to children who have not yet had much opportunity of reasoning and choice to be put into rigid boxes guided by one specific criterion of categorization”. Children are born with open minds, it is the adults who put concepts of categorization into their little heads. We should not tell them “That is your identity and this is all you are going to get”. Instead we should empower them to make their own choices, by exposing them to many differnet cultures and religions.

Like mentioned before, I don’t believe that your identity is who you are. I was born in Sweden, my family is Swedish, I speak Swedish, but still I don’t believe that I think as a typical Swedish. What is that anyways? Would all people of a nation have the same thoughts, no I don’t think so. Then who am I? What I can tell you is that I sometimes feel very sad without realy knowing why, I see things that I should not be able to see because I don’t believe in them, and I feel a stronger connection to animals than to other people. I guess that is just a fracture of who I am, but it is a start and I don’t want people to know too much. I think that believeing that you know who you are can make you vulnerable. The day I lay down to die will be the day that I can fully accept who I am, because there will be nothing more to learn and nothing more to feel.

BU Thief

2009-04-02T14:34:00.002+07:00

Oh I just remembered, have to send out a warning about a little thief. It is a girl at BU, Indian looking, who keeps borrowing money from people without ever paying back. She will go up to whoever and ask them if she can borrow some money for a taxi because she forgot her wallet at home. She has done this to two of my friends and now we are trying to find out who she is. Hehe, it's kinda funny though, how she used the same excuse to both of my friends. :) Will update if we find her.

Stop the Violence!

2009-04-02T13:39:00.005+07:00

I just read a horrible story in an old Bangkok Post, which I found among the garbage under my coffee table. The article was about a gang of teenagers arrested for rape and attempted murder. The leader of the gang is 20 yrs old and the rest between 16-20 yrs old. I have always thought that kids in these age groups are among the most dangerous in Thailand. They do crazy things without thinking about either consequences or the victims.

Usually girls won't report rapes because they are too ashamed of it. In this particular case the girl actually had the courage to report it, and then helped the police to arrest the bastards. The gang had stopped her and her boyfriend when they were driving around on their motorbike. They threatened the couple with a gun and knives, stole their valuables, and then kidnapped the girl. She was raped by the whole gang, while they were filming it. This was obviously not the first time they commited these kind of crimes. One victim was forced to choose between his motorbike and his girlfriend.

I heared another story from my parents, their has been a lot of crimes in Hua Hin lately, of a Swedish woman that got harassed by some teenagers. She was walking on one of the bridges over Petchakasem rd. near Market Village, when some kids stopped her and started to shout at her and pour yoghurt in her hair and on her clothes. Who would think of doing something like that? Don't they play sports or have any hobbies, like normal kids.

I am very scared of these people. Sometimes they will try to push you off your motorbike just to get a good laugh. They are scums, and I wish they had someone who could teach them right and wrong. That's another thing in this country, almost everyone claim they are buddhist's and proudly walks around with their Buddha around their necks. Hypocrits, maybe you should try to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.